Belphegor - 06-09-2005 - Updated Tue/Thu/Sat

Ten Years In The Making

The Suck Button was concieved of back when I was 15 or so, in Franklin. My friend Graham and I worked at Burger King at the time, and had just gotten our hands on Soul Blade. There was a blizzard, and we called in 'Quit' to work, and played video games all day (which happened a lot, in fact). Paco and Bobby Das were there, and Bob was playing Voldo. He kept doing a move where he'd fall onto the ground and get his ass kicked. We discovered an awful truth, he had been in fact hitting the Suck Button. When one hits such a nefarious button, they invariably, inescapably, and often terminally, suck.

Much of that story is outright lies. All of those things happen, but I suspect the calling in quit, the blizzard, Soul Blade, and the suck button, they all happened at different times, and have rolled together into one event in my recollection, a by-product of playing SO MANY video games at Graham's, and drinking lots of Mountain Dew (nature's vasectomy). But at the core remains the unholy Suck Button, a gag that has run with me ten years, and paces along side me to this day. Damn you to hell, Suck Button.

I am going camping from 6/22 to 6/26, but due to my Dad's technophilia, there will be no interruption of service with the comic. There will, however, likely be many jokes about the antics of squirrels that would only be funny to a man who is halfway to beast, divorced from society and returned to his primal, feral instincts, living off insects and the flesh of fellow campers. This man will either be myself or my brother, Owen. He's closer to feral, I'm closer to primal (in the primate sense). So we'll see who wins. Apes or Ferrets.